It’s Valentine’s day! I know it’s a load of commercial clap trap really, but I must confess I quite like it. Married to a lovely Northern Irish man, who isn’t known for expressing his feelings at will, it provides at least one occasion a year for sentimentality and he did well this year. A heartfelt message, a lovely pair of dangly earrings (crucial to complement a bald head) and an M&S meal for 2, what more could a girl want? (I’m not even being sarcastic) it’s shaping up to be a good Friday.

My card to him said the following on the front:

because of you
I laugh a little harder
cry a little less
and smile a lot more

Never are these words truer than this year. During some of the bleaker moments when we have received fairly dreadful news Dave has always made me laugh, often dark humour but something that eases the tension and makes me smile. It’s only when ‘the shit hits the fan’ in life that we tend to find out just how useful our partners are so if you think you’ve got a good one – my advice is to spoil them today/tonight because you never know when you will need them to step up.

Anyway, enough of that and onto the infamous Docetaxel, my other partner in life for the next 8 weeks.

Well I’m a week in from my first dose of it and it’s been OK. The nurses were right, I have felt like I’m on chemotherapy with this one but I’m pleased to be able to say nothing has been too horrendous (yet). I had my usual flushing in the face for 24 hours after but still felt fine. On the Monday I was in the gym on the stair master but then Tuesday was a completely different story. I felt very lacking in energy and although I made it out for a coffee in the morning, I hardly moved from the settee for the rest of the day and night. I felt a little flu like, tired, cold, wiped out and generally a bit miserable. By Wednesday I had a little more energy, but not back to normal, and managed to get out in the afternoon to meet friends. By the evening I was shattered again. Thursday was slightly better again on the energy front but by the afternoon, early evening I’m good for nothing really.

Along with fatigue I have had a series of annoying side effects. My taste has all gone to pot. I can still taste some things but they all have a kind of metal overtone. My throat has been sore and my mouth is permanently quite dry so any pleasure derived from food or drink is starting to wane rapidly. On the plus side I might actually shift my Christmas weight before the end of February!

My stomach has also felt really tender. The only way I can describe it is that it feels like it does after you have drank too much and been sick from alcohol (something I’ve only experieced a couple of times obvs).

I have to take Laxidose twice a day and I’ll leave that there – I don’t think any of you need to know any more about my bowels.

Finally, my eyes have been sore in their sockets. Not constantly sore, but if you rub them, they have felt dry and tender.

Whilst none of the above are that pleasant, I’m acutely aware that they are not horrendous either and that things could be worse. I know this drug can cause tingling in the hands and feet and muscle/joint pain which I’ve escaped so far (fingers crossed that continues). So, all in all, I’m not complaining. I am thinking that by the end of the weekend I will be 10 days post treatment and technically should be building my self back up for number 5.

We are off to The Lakes for half term and I’m really looking forward to it. I am ready for a change of scenery and to (hopefully) not have to step into a hospital for a full week! It will also do the boys some good to feel like we are on holiday and things are as normal as possible. Here’s hoping we have some dry weather and can get out in the fresh air.

Hope you all have a lovely Valentine’s Day if it’s your thing and if it’s not just have a great weekend/half term.