Let’s talk about the much-maligned chemotherapy.

The word fills most of us with dread yet really it does a great job. To steal an analogy from the very witty Jackie Buxton who wrote ‘Tea and Chemo’ (which I am reading and enjoying) she calls it the ‘clean up team’. It’s designed to do exactly that, sweep up any leftover cancer cells that may not have yet formed into anything the eye can see and make sure the pesky blighters don’t multiply and resurface.

At first my surgeon predicted that I was ‘unlikely to need chemotherapy’ to which I felt huge relief. However, as things progressed, twisted and turned she changed her minds to ‘definitely recommending chemotherapy’ to which I also felt huge relief – at least if I have it, I won’t be able to look back and regret the decision not to have it.

The bit that gives us all the fear are the side effects and there is good reason for that.

But before we talk about the side effects, there are a few things I’m going to bet you didn’t know (and neither did I until I found myself on this shitty journey).

Firstly, chemotherapy can have long term side effects. I had no idea. I knew it was horrible at the time but had no concept it could leave you with damage to your heart (to name just one possible long-term side effect) or an increased risk of a secondary cancer (nice).

Secondly, when you go to the loo after chemotherapy you have to close the lid and flush – you’re wee is toxic and if you go in the middle of the night you are advised not to let it mellow until the morning but to flush it away immediately. I have to presume that Severn Trent Water are all over this….

Finally, if you have sex during chemotherapy (not top of my priority list right now I’ll admit) your partner needs to wear protection. Your bodily fluids are also toxic! Frankly, I’m surprised I don’t have a Ready Brek glow around me.

So, onto the side effects. There are loads and I think they differ from one drug to another and also not everybody gets everyone so it’s basically a waiting game to see which from the lovely list affect you.

In terms of sickness and nausea, I think chemotherapy of today is very different from that in the 70’s. Medical advances seem to have helped get the sickness under control. You take anti sickness tablets 1 hour before your treatment, they give you anti sickness at the same time as the drugs and you leave with emergency anti-sickness tablets too. I’m guessing this isn’t the same for everyone and sadly, some people probably do still suffer from this.

For me, the effects of this first session hasn’t proved too bad at all – thankfully.

My appetite changed slightly the day after I had the drugs but quickly went back to normal. I haven’t had any nausea at all but did have some pretty wicked heartburn (strange I know) on about day 4 post treatment and a sore back (could be completely unrelated to the chemo). I also felt really low in energy for a couple of days and had to do quite a bit of sitting down and resting but haven’t needed to go back to bed at all. My appetite has been fine and I can still taste things which is a bonus. So, all in all it feels good to have ticked one off the list with five more to go.

I am under no illusion that they will all be like this one. As I understand it the side effects get worse as the chemo cumulates in your system. Also whilst reading ‘Tea and Chemo’ last night I found out that the author had exactly the same chemo as me, three lots of Epirubicin and three lots of Docetaxel (Taxotere) and she reported that she found the first three pretty straight forward but was knocked sideways by her final three.

She described pains in her muscles and joints as if someone had them in a vice, she described a mouth full (literally) of mouth ulcers, gritty eyes, no saliva and that everything she ate tasted like it had been dipped in Bi carbonate of soda and mud! She didn’t even mention that you can lose fingernails and toenails too.

So, it seems I have all of this to look forward to next year, (Happy New Year to me) but I guess fore-armed is fore-warned and for now I feel good.

Christmas is around the corner, I have 2 boys who will be very excited to finish school next week and start enjoying the festivities, so whilst I can enjoy it (and still taste the food associated with it) I damn well intend to!

Happy Christmas everyone who is following my blog and thank you for your unending support, it means the world.

Have a great Christmas with your friends and families.